Never Alone

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no
I needed you today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?

I am used to getting what I want, when I want. I am used to working hard, and hard work paying off....

I am not used to waiting. I am not used to working hard to only be told, "not yet, be still".

I rebelled. I've been angry. I've been disappointed. I've been impatient.

I have turned away from Him, because I thought a lot like the songs says:

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know

I know He is here, I know He will never forsake me.  I think a lot of us are used to people letting us down. We give God the same attributes that we give people. That has been my mistake, and maybe yours too.

We are used to people lying to us, leaving us, dragging us down....

So when I believed in my heart that I was answering His call for my life, when I stayed on the straight and narrow, never straying, I expected to be rewarded with what my heart desires. I haven't been, not yet at least. I automatically gave God human emotions. I thought He had left me, forgotten me, that whatever I did was not enough.

I stupidly thought, "I'll show Him!!". Let me show you just how far off the path I can get. I have been trusting in myself more than in Him. I have had little self-respect- and if you can't respect yourself, who will respect you? I turned to worldly things to comfort my soul, I have no one to blame, but myself.  It is so easy to play the blame game and never take responsibility. This is me taking full responsibility....

This all hit me yesterday, and it was an amazing feeling to actually listen to Him again. We all have times where we fall off His path, but the important thing to remember is that He never leaves us. He is the ever present, bright lighthouse on the shore. We are the drifting wayward ship going through this storm called life. Don't lose sight of His light or His love for you...

You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep reassurance
You've placed in my life.
We cannot separate
'Cause you're part of me.
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen