Thursday, November 24, 2011


Ah...the big debate of can people really change? My friend and I were discussing this topic recently. My friend believes people do not change. They can pretend for awhile, have a "life changing" event to prompt them to change, but never actually fully make the change. They will go back to their old ways...not to be trusted.

Well I can't believe this...

"It is the possibility that keeps me going … and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible."- Nicholas Sparks

And to me this is enough. I have decided to have a positive outlook on life. I decide to trust others, look for the good in them. Will I get hurt by this? Sure, I have in the past and I am sure I will again. The temporary pain and hurt is worth living a positive life and not a cynical one.

I do believe one must want to change for oneself. I don't think a person will change unless they truly have the want and need to in their hearts. I know this because this is where I am in my life right now. I want to be this great Christian, I long for it, I work so hard everyday to change into the person He would want me to be. Is it hard? It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Changing isn't meant to be easy. I know it is is possible though. I have faith in Him and the change He will make in my life.

Which brings me to who I believe is the one who can help a person change. Christ. It is all over the bible. Saul, later called Paul, was a persecutor of Christ followers and then he saw Christ. He was blinded by Christ, spent time with him and became the teacher of salvation to many Gentiles. How awesome is that?! I love how life-altering, loving and amazing God is. He took the one killing followers, and changed him into a man of God.

Now unfortunately, we don't live in biblical times. We live in a culture where sins are thrown in our face daily. I believe that it is hard for many people to understand that they are forgiven. Yes, you reading this. God loves you, you are his child, you are FORGIVEN!! Who you were in your past does not mean this is who you have to be in your future. You do not have to live the life that the culture says is "right". Live a life full of Christ and love!! :) My heart is so overwhelmed as I write these words!!

As I said, this is not going to be easy. It is a battle everyday for many Christians, but the battle is worth it. I still am prone to going back to the person I was before Him. I know others struggle with this as well because it is easier to give into temptation. Your so called "favorite sins" will be harder to quit than other. Please remember that with Him by your side, anything is possible. All past demons and sins can be overcome. "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us." Romans 8:31

I know in my heart people can and will change. Faith, hope and love will win. I am sticking to my guns on this one people.

I am going to make an announcement soon that I haven't told anyone about. I know what I am about to embark on is my calling. My heart is full of Him when I think about my future and what He has planned for me. :)

Have a great Thanksgiving, spend time with your loved ones.

Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He’s up to something
And the farther on
I go I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something
He is not finished with me yet....

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Well, I have caught the blogging bug once again. I guess I really started all of this to keep family and friends updated on my life while I was in college. Especially because I spent 50% in Huntsville, 25% in Belton and 25% in Houston. Now that all my time is spent in Houston, there is not much to exactly “update” on. I keep in contact with my friends whom I enjoy spending what little free time I do have, and that’s about it. Therefore, I guess this is now just something for me to vent with. I don’t care if anyone reads it. I just love writing and always have. With that being said, welcome to my newest post :)

“Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us together today. Wove, twue wove...So tweasure your woves forever”- Princess Bride

Marriage. The word that when I bring it up, (mainly from older generations) will almost always promise the response of “OMG, you are so young!”, “You have your whole life ahead of you, why do you feel so rushed?!”

The truth is people, I do not feel rushed into it. I mean I don’t even have a boyfriend, nor a potential suitor. So, before I continue I just wanted to throw that out there. It would be different if I had a boyfriend whom I am pushing the topic on, but I don’t nor would I do that.

What I do have an inner battle with is my personal accomplishment checklist. Now, I do not have this written down somewhere of a timeline of when I should succeed at things in life, but it is definitely in my head somewhere. Let me let you in on how I live my life and process things in this brain of mine:

Step 1: I see a goal in my mind.
Step 2: I make a plan to reach this goal.
Step 3: I successfully reach this goal.

There is A TON of mini steps in between these. Most of them consisting of hard work, little “play-time” and all that good stuff. This is how I graduated college in 3 years with an almost 4.0 GPA. I am driven.

Anywho, here I am… I have reached that goal, I have a career in front of me. The next obvious “step” in my mind is mawwage. This is just how I have grown up. I see my parents, grandparents, friend’s parents, co-workers and now even a few of my friends happily married. Naturally, I do not believe divorce is an option unless some sort of abuse is going on. I believe in love, romance, miracles and the magic of it all. I choose to look at the positive aspects. Believe me, I know marriage is not all daisies and roses, but I am willing to put up with the thorns.

In my little mind, I had it all planned out. I would graduate college with my high school or college sweetheart…we would both get jobs and he would propose to me in the most romantic way ever and we will live happily ever after and start our own little family with no white picket fence, because we would want lots of open land! Haha

Welcome to why I am frustrated now. I am used to “getting what I want”. Not because I have it handed to me, but because I work HARD for it. I put every ounce of me into my goals. This is why when I see people just kind of just “floating” through life, I want to encourage them with what I have done and to set goals. I don’t mean go to college. I just mean set a goal and accomplish it.

I digress, my previous goals dealt mainly with me pushing myself. It did not include someone else’s feelings and their life. I realize marriage is not exactly a goal. It has just always been the next step in my mind. Now that I am nowhere near taking that step, I am sort of wondering what’s next? What is my purpose now? What is my role on this Earth?? Haha

Then, I started going to this bible study every Tuesday evening. It really put “my life” in perspective for me. First of all, it is not MY life. My life belongs to Christ. I was put on this Earth to do his work, whatever that may be. I have to let go of MY plans for life. It is in His hands now and I am courageous and willing to be faithful to Him. This is going to be very difficult for me to stop planning because I am such a planner!! I must give everything up to Him. It won’t always be easy and I know I won’t always be happy. That is OK though because my kingdom is not here.

So God, here I am. Use me as you need. Whether it is getting married and having a family or dedicating my life to being a missionary. I was made by God and for God and until I understand that, life will never make sense…

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 :)