Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Plans

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11  

If you would have told me this time last year, what I would be doing right now, I wouldn’t have believed you. I had it all planned out.

I was going to move to Austin, get a job there working for a non-profit. I was going to move with him, get engaged, be happy…  

I believed in this dream with everything I had. Little did I know that God had bigger plans, His own plans.

I didn’t do any of the above. I moved back to my home town, I work for an insurance agency and we broke up. So I guess what this post is about, is seeing the big picture of it all. Looking past the bad and realize His plan is bigger and better than anything I can dream of.

Many things have been painful these past 7 months. Days where I didn’t want to get out of bed, days where it took everything in me not to break down at work. Days where I shut everyone out. I am not going to lie, I still have some of those days. With each day though, it gets better. I don’t want to say time heals all wounds, because it doesn’t. There is one rock in my life that does heal all of my wounds and that is Christ.  

Going back to a year ago, I did have those dreams. One thing I didn’t have though, is the relationship I now have with Christ. To be honest, I would take that relationship over ANYTHING I had in my life last year.  

Yes, I believed in God. I worshiped Him, I went to church,  and prayed. I  have gone to the same church my whole life. The same church my momma and daddy got married in.  I felt like I had somewhat of a relationship with my Savior. In college I never questioned these things. I accepted “my part” of being a Christian.  I would rarely want to speak of Him to others, let alone write full blogs about Him.    

Fast forward to this past May, when my world seemed to be turned upside-down. I am not going to get into it again, but you are more than welcome to go read my old posts. Anyway as I said, I was at my lowest. It took me to get there to realize the only one there for me, the only one who had not forsaken me, was my Lord. He was there holding my heart, soothing the storm in me. No one had the right words to tell me, except Him.  

Therefore, I turned to Him. I immersed myself in His words. I went to bible study twice a week and started helping out at a youth girl’s bible study. It is during these times that I am at peace. All of my burdens disappear. I am no longer lost, my spirit is found.  

Realizing all of this made me look back on how I used to be. A year ago I had plans, but I was lost. The people I surrounded myself with were not ones that supported my relationship with God. I became somewhat ashamed of my religion and what I was raised as. Seems so silly now, because when people deny that, they aren’t denying you, but Him.  I remember one conversation I had between a few people about Him. They were saying how silly it is to post a status on Facebook about God. How they don’t want to shove it down anyone’s throat. They love God, but why talk about Him where everyone can see? I somewhat agreed at the time. WAS I CRAZY?!?!?!  

How can you not want to speak His GREAT name?!  

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8  

 God is all of these things!! This is why, regardless of MY plans that I had, His plan is the best!! I love being in love with God. He is in control of my life, my life is His. I want to speak of Him, write of Him, sing of HIM.  

As I look back on the ones I associated with last year, I can only hope and pray that they will learn the power in truly knowing Christ. The power in His love and how trusting in Him and following His plan will guide you in the right direction. I know if they did, things would turn out differently…  

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for blessing me with everything I have. Thank you for tossing my plans aside and replacing them with You. Thank you for moving me back home so that I may spend time with my Papaw before he passed away. Thank you for giving me a job, with such a short drive and no traffic. Thank you for the amazing people I work with…for all of  them know you and I am truly spoiled at this job compared to what I had before. Thank you for pushing the wrong people out of my life, so that I may have the chance to have the right people.  Thank you for my amazing TRUE friends I have here and for Ashley, who is such a blessing even when she is all the way in Huntsville. Thank you for my family who love me through it all. I cannot thank you enough for all the things I do have. Please let me continue to follow your path, and let me help those who have strayed from your path or have never known of it.