Got that FIRE!

"I have faith that God will show you the answer. But you have to understand that sometimes it takes a while to be able to recognize what God wants you to do. That's how it often is. God's voice is usually nothing more than a whisper, and you have to listen very carefully to hear it. But other times, in those rarest of moments, the answer is obvious and rings as loud as a church bell.”
 N. Sparks

Last night at my Tuesday night Bible study, a few ladies from my small group came up to me. One told me that she has been praying for me. Just a side note, it is an AWESOME feeling to be told that you have been prayed for.  To be prayed for means that you were on someone’s heart and mind. I usually don’t tell people when I pray for them, but I think I will start. She literally made my night. After she told me that she had been praying for me, she commented on how amazing it is that, at my young age how much of  a fire I have for God. Another woman came up and agreed with her. They both explained how they didn’t have a passion for the Lord until they were in their 30s or so. I was beyond flattered by these woman. In my eyes, these women were wise Christians, who I looked up to. Here they were praising me for my faith? WOW!  I became speechless and then accredited my momma for always pushing me towards Christ.

As I walked away, I began to think. Yes, my mom is the reason I came to know Christ. I am ever -grateful for being raised in a Christian household. My parents did their part as Christian parents to raise me as they should. I also must always ALWAYS give my thanks to God. He is the reason, that I am who I am. After I left the nest, it was my job to become a sheep or a goat. One path leads to Him and the other path to the unthinkable.

I can clearly see that my adult journey with Him began last  May. I had graduated from college, and it was time to stop my childish ways. OK so maybe it wasn’t as clear as I make it seem. It has been tough journey. It wasn’t like God just came down and said, “Hey Lauren, from this day forward, life will be easy, just follow me”. In fact, I turned away from Him at first. I thought I could solve my problems on my own. It wasn’t until up was the only I could look. I soon realized He is the answer to every question. I think that it is important to point out, that He came to be while I was broken. He came to me, when a storm was raging. God calls out to the broken, hurting, drug addicts, drunks and non-believers. He does not look down upon you for your sins. It is because of Jesus that those very sins are forgiven.

I started changing my ways. I listened to KSBJ instead of KILT, I went to Bible study instead of out with friends, gone were my words of bitterness, replaced with His love. I realized that I would need a whole lifestyle change in order for me to give all of myself to Him. I’m not saying that I am perfect now. I am far from it and still struggle at times. I can tell I am now stronger through Him. I am beyond grateful of the events that have taken place over these past months. I was drowning and He pulled me up into a world I was blind from before.

Back to the women at Bible study…As I said, I began thinking once I walked away from the group of how sad it really is. How sad that not more young adults have a love for Christ. How sad that this world is how it is today. How sad that sin is not only highly accepted, but rewarded and encouraged. How great would it be if those woman weren’t amazed by my faith, but if the fire for Christ was the "norm" for 21- year old females. What a different world we would live in…

So it starts with YOU and me. It starts with those of us who are already Christians. We cannot merely sit there and complain about this world, and do nothing about it. I used to, but it got me nowhere. Go live out your life in a way that make people wonder, “where on Earth does this person get that fire and love from?” (Answer: nowhere on earth, but from ABOVE!) Be fearless, courageous and don’t forget to PRAY!

Love y’all and may God’s peace stay with you!

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today

Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips

Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.

That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable

--DC Talk

You've Got A Friend in Me

“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”

― C.S. Lewis

I love that my God never changes. I love that He never moves from me.  He is like a lighthouse and I am a ship lost at sea. His light leads me home, pulls me in and shows me the way. When I begin to drift away from Him, He stands still and waits for his wayward child to come back again. No matter what mistakes I make, nor how many times I deny Him, He still says, “You are mine, follow me”.  I love this concept.

This concept is what made me realize how I want to live my life. I want to be that person who is there for others. The one who never is more than a phone call away, just like God is no more than a prayer away. I know I cannot be perfect, nor do I want to be. I just want my friends to know that no matter what I am here for them.

Growing up, my parents always told me that I have a really big heart. While that may seem like a good thing, they were worried about me getting hurt. The truth is, I look for the good in people. I trust people until they give me a reason not too, forgive when many won’t and love at all costs. I do this because I refuse to live my life shielded, with a bitter head and heart. I actually believed that everyone lived their life like that. I mean who wouldn’t want to be in an almost constant state of positive energy? Haha

I soon learned that many choose not to live their life as I do. Some call how I live my life is naïve, which I am far from. That is fine, to each their own. I refuse to lower my standards for those who refuse to raise theirs. So I continue with my big heart, full of the glory of God!

I don’t care how long a friend has gone without talking to me, I will pick up right where we left off. No matter if that friendship previously ended in anger or happiness.  A great example of this is me and one of my best friends, Kelly. We met at children’s choir at church when we were probably six. Her family moved to a different church and we grew apart. As most 6 year olds do because, well we are 6 and can’t drive or really call each other. Move onto middle school and look who is in my theatre class, KELLY!! Many fond memories are made during this time. (I wrote a full blog about these memories, if you would like to know more). Then, we got into an over dramatic fight (as most middle school fights are) and the friendship ended. Going into high school, I really didn’t talk to her at all. She had a new boyfriend, a new life it seemed. I really wanted to be there for her when I heard from others about her life. I remember we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was just extremely awkward. It is weird going from being at her house every day, to not even knowing anything about her current life. One day when I was waiting for my mom to pick me up from school, I saw her sitting outside as well. I went over to her and we just kind of struck up a random conversation. It was just like we never stopped being friends. Pretty soon, we were caught up on each other’s life. The years  in high school flew by and we graduated. We found out that we would be managers together at a local pool. Let me state something right now, Kelly by herself, pretty responsible. Me, by myself, pretty responsible. Us, together, we lose all sense of maturity. She is that friend, that no matter how old we get, I can still act like a complete idiot with. Yet still have deep conversations about life. If you don’t have one of these friends, I suggest you find one ASAP. That whole summer was full of fun and nonsense. I left for college and she stayed near home. We slowly drifted apart, I think it was both of our faults. We both did things to upset the other. So we decided the go our separate ways. She was soon engaged, married and pregnant. I once again found myself wondering how she was doing and hoping she was happy with her new life. I graduated college, moved back home and found myself at Kelly’s house one day. She makes jewelry and I went to go check it out. As always, we picked up right where we left off! I pretty much don’t go a week without seeing her. It is so cool to see someone that you have known since you were six, have their own little family. I love how supportive her husband is of her and what a great dad he is to their daughter. Kelly is such a great mom and wife as well. It is so amazing to have such a true friend. Even more, someone you know who understands you and is a sister in Christ. I know that no matter what happens or how far we will move, we will always be there for each other. Thankfully, I am blessed to not only have her, but a few other friend I could say this about.

To conclude, I want YOU to know that I am here for you and more importantly GOD is here for you! If you have hurt me in the past, I forgive you. For you are only human too. If I have hurt you in the past, please accept my apology. We all sin, we all make mistakes. Life is about forgiving and moving on from the heartache of the past. So, I have a challenge for you this week. Contact an old friend, maybe someone who hurt you, someone you have been meaning call. Let them know that they are loved. Holding onto grudges only hurts you, not them. It only imprisons you, while they walk free.  Live life with a really big heart and never look back! 

List

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her…

Growing up, all teenage girls have a sort of “check list” of traits their boyfriend MUST possess. Whether it is the typical blonde hair, blue eyes. Or the tall, dark and handsome. I can almost guarantee that every girl has some sort of dream guy in her mind. My guy went a little something like this:

16- Year-old Lauren Roehr’s Must-have in a Guy List

1.       Straight teeth…or at least a nice smile

2.       Rockin’ Bod…or at least care about your health

3.       Funny…on every girl's list

4.       Honest, trustworthy and all that junk

5.       Morals…because I always have stuck by mine

As you can tell, I was pretty shallow back in the day. If I wasn’t thinking with the mind of a 16 year old, I would have probably flipped that list around. Actually, that list kind of followed me through college too. By following this list I managed to date a hand full of guys who, might have been great to look at, but lacked on honesty and sometimes morals as well.

To be fair, I was 16. I was immature, everything was a big deal and what I wanted changed on a daily basis. I dated many different guys and was pretty much never single. I would go from hanging out with one guy, get tired of him and almost instantly find another. (None of these were serious relationships, where love was involved). Things were easy that way and I never got lonely.  I was never alone and therefore, never had to learn how to be by myself. Thankfully, I was smart enough to keep my morals throughout all of this. I am proud to say I never have been, and never will be a girl who sleeps around, or needs that type of love to feel comfort. I just really enjoyed always having someone around to have fun with and get those sweet, “Good Morning” texts from.

It wasn’t until the first semester of college that I had to learn how to be on my own. My boyfriend of almost 2 years and I had just broken up. We both went our separate ways to college. He was honest with me when we first started dating about how we would break up when college came. I just really thought I would change his mind. (Made note to self: A guy will only change his way and mind when he wants to for himself, not for anyone else). That first semester at college was to say the least, tough. I was thrown into a sea of people, where I only knew maybe 5. All I wanted was to be back with him. I had no clue how to be single. Actually, I am still terrible at being single. I don’t enjoy living the life many single people do. I am such a homebody, even more now than then. I went back home almost every weekend.  So, I didn’t lead the normal single college girls life. Most guys in college just want one thing…the one thing that they won’t get from me.

Knowing that, I stayed single that whole first year, and it got easier as time went on. I learned not to depend on anyone, except myself. There were a few guys who showed their interest here and there. Nothing that was ever made more than a few dates. Then, I fell in love again. Zip through 8 months of that, straight into another serious relationship of over a year, and I found myself back at square one of not know how to be alone.

This time it is different because I have Him. HE tells me that I am not alone, that I have never been alone and that I will never be alone. He tells me that in my darkest hour, when no one else is there to be found, He is there. He calms the storm inside of me, fills up the loneliness and lets me know that I am loved, because I am His!! He was there the whole time, I just needed to realize His presence.

Realizing all of this was been such a blessing on my life. Hard times don’t seem as hard and I can just see everything clearer now. All of this brings me to the point of this blog, my new list. My new list, isn’t even a list at all. This criteria centers around HIM! I know that what I was missing before in all of my relationships was, Him.  I know I want to marry a man who loves God more than he loves me. A man who isn’t afraid to give everything to God. A man I can pray, worship and rejoice in the Lord with. Someone who understands why I go to Bible study on Tuesday, help with youth on Wednesday, Sunday and  sometimes overnight trips. Who will encourage me and push me to be the best Christian I can be. I want my children to have two parents that follow Christ.  I want a marriage that when times get tough, we turn to Him for guidance instead of sin or worldly things. Thinking of these things is what makes my heart happy.


I pray that if it is in His plan for me to get married, that my husband will be all of this and more...


As for my life now, I plan to continue on my walk with Him. I am using this time as a single woman to let my relationship with Him grow. I know He will use me in ways that will benefit most from me being single. Ways that I would not being able to help with if I was still in college, or married with a family. I truly am giving it all up to Him and can't wait to see what blessings will unfold while doing His work here on this temporary home. 

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:25-33

Calling

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

I remember the day when I realized what I wanted to do for the rest of my life…

I was sitting in a seminar for the Society of Leadership and Success. It was a honors group I was asked to be a member of. In order to be a member, you have to complete these seminars about different topics. To be honest, I was just completing the requirements because you also were given an honor cord. I was a little “honor cord obsessed” in my college days. I just dreamed of walking across the stage with all these cords and a medal. I wanted people to see how much hard work I put into my 3 years at Sam! I ended up walking across the stage with 5 cords and my Honors Program medal.

Anyway, back to the seminar…I was sitting in a classroom with a ton of other students. Most of us were less than thrilled to have to sit in another classroom after a day full of lectures and professors. In fact, most of us just played on our cells the whole time we were there. The president of the society handed out a paper and told us about how todays seminar will help us decide on what our “true calling” is. Doubtful, I thought. I have done these things before. Career assessment tests that tell me I should become a police officer. Really? Anyone who knows me, knows #1 I close my eyes even during the previews of scary movies. So why would I put myself in a real life scary movie?! #2 The only direction I will be running when a criminal is around is away, not after.  The only way I will ever become a police officer is if I am part of the K9-unit. In that case, I am just going to play with Fido all day.

I decide to give this assessment a try. Maybe get a good laugh about what it will tell me. It is not like I am going to switch my major around. It is my fall semester of my senior year, I am going to graduate and become a…oh yeah that’s right…I recently decided that maybe I don’t want to work at a news station and with the media. Maybe open my own film company? Move to LA and work for E!? Become a teacher? Go work as a zookeeper? WHAT!? Wait, STOP! Just take the test that is in front of you, Lauren. (In case you were wondering, yes this is how thoughts process in my mind)

Do you know what the assessment told me? It told me that my “true calling” is helping people. It is kind of amazing, because in a way I always knew that. I just didn't know I could make a whole career out of it. How awesome would it be to know you are making a positive influence on someone’s life each day? I remember it all hitting me and looking around the see if this has the same effect on others as it did on me. It didn't, most were still anxious to leave and start their normal college nightlife routine. I just sat back, smiled and felt at peace. I almost immediately started looking for jobs at non-profit companies such as Make a Wish, Livestrong and Alzheimer’s Association. Fast forward to present day…

I ended up not getting a job at a non-profit. I interviewed at a few, but with this job market, most really wanted more with experience. Which is fine, because it all worked out for the best. I currently work at an insurance agency, but still get to help people and follow my morals daily. I think that it is the biggest deal breaker for me. I have to be able to have a job where my morals aren’t constantly questioned. I work across the street from my church, so I get to look out my window and see a steeple all day long. I can read my Bible on my lunch break and work in a really positive environment. Looking back, I realize on that day sitting in a classroom, filled with students who were just wanting to leave and get on with their life, my life changed. God started working in me, and it is only now, well over a year later that I see all of this.

Have you ever been a part of something that just makes you want to smile? You just look upon it and realize it is His hands at work? Well, I get to experience this every week! I have recently began working with the youth group from my church. I can easily say it is the most rewarding, encouraging, and amazing thing I have been a part of in a long time. I get to see how the love and grace of God grows in these teens every week. I get to help them overcome challenges, laugh with each other and succeed. I can’t help but to find myself smiling when I look at that group of teens. I know it has nothing to do with me and everything with God working through me. It is like I have finally found my way of helping and giving back. I can’t wait to see how the Lord will use me to help them and how he will use them to help me grow as well.

I can't live my whole my life wasting 
all the grace that I know you've given 
Cause you made me for so much more 
than sitting on the sidelines…

Plans

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11  

If you would have told me this time last year, what I would be doing right now, I wouldn’t have believed you. I had it all planned out.

I was going to move to Austin, get a job there working for a non-profit. I was going to move with him, get engaged, be happy…  

I believed in this dream with everything I had. Little did I know that God had bigger plans, His own plans.

I didn’t do any of the above. I moved back to my home town, I work for an insurance agency and we broke up. So I guess what this post is about, is seeing the big picture of it all. Looking past the bad and realize His plan is bigger and better than anything I can dream of.

Many things have been painful these past 7 months. Days where I didn’t want to get out of bed, days where it took everything in me not to break down at work. Days where I shut everyone out. I am not going to lie, I still have some of those days. With each day though, it gets better. I don’t want to say time heals all wounds, because it doesn’t. There is one rock in my life that does heal all of my wounds and that is Christ.  

Going back to a year ago, I did have those dreams. One thing I didn’t have though, is the relationship I now have with Christ. To be honest, I would take that relationship over ANYTHING I had in my life last year.  

Yes, I believed in God. I worshiped Him, I went to church,  and prayed. I  have gone to the same church my whole life. The same church my momma and daddy got married in.  I felt like I had somewhat of a relationship with my Savior. In college I never questioned these things. I accepted “my part” of being a Christian.  I would rarely want to speak of Him to others, let alone write full blogs about Him.    

Fast forward to this past May, when my world seemed to be turned upside-down. I am not going to get into it again, but you are more than welcome to go read my old posts. Anyway as I said, I was at my lowest. It took me to get there to realize the only one there for me, the only one who had not forsaken me, was my Lord. He was there holding my heart, soothing the storm in me. No one had the right words to tell me, except Him.  

Therefore, I turned to Him. I immersed myself in His words. I went to bible study twice a week and started helping out at a youth girl’s bible study. It is during these times that I am at peace. All of my burdens disappear. I am no longer lost, my spirit is found.  

Realizing all of this made me look back on how I used to be. A year ago I had plans, but I was lost. The people I surrounded myself with were not ones that supported my relationship with God. I became somewhat ashamed of my religion and what I was raised as. Seems so silly now, because when people deny that, they aren’t denying you, but Him.  I remember one conversation I had between a few people about Him. They were saying how silly it is to post a status on Facebook about God. How they don’t want to shove it down anyone’s throat. They love God, but why talk about Him where everyone can see? I somewhat agreed at the time. WAS I CRAZY?!?!?!  

How can you not want to speak His GREAT name?!  

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8  

 God is all of these things!! This is why, regardless of MY plans that I had, His plan is the best!! I love being in love with God. He is in control of my life, my life is His. I want to speak of Him, write of Him, sing of HIM.  

As I look back on the ones I associated with last year, I can only hope and pray that they will learn the power in truly knowing Christ. The power in His love and how trusting in Him and following His plan will guide you in the right direction. I know if they did, things would turn out differently…  

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for blessing me with everything I have. Thank you for tossing my plans aside and replacing them with You. Thank you for moving me back home so that I may spend time with my Papaw before he passed away. Thank you for giving me a job, with such a short drive and no traffic. Thank you for the amazing people I work with…for all of  them know you and I am truly spoiled at this job compared to what I had before. Thank you for pushing the wrong people out of my life, so that I may have the chance to have the right people.  Thank you for my amazing TRUE friends I have here and for Ashley, who is such a blessing even when she is all the way in Huntsville. Thank you for my family who love me through it all. I cannot thank you enough for all the things I do have. Please let me continue to follow your path, and let me help those who have strayed from your path or have never known of it.

Change.

Ah...the big debate of can people really change? My friend and I were discussing this topic recently. My friend believes people do not change. They can pretend for awhile, have a "life changing" event to prompt them to change, but never actually fully make the change. They will go back to their old ways...not to be trusted.

Well I can't believe this...

"It is the possibility that keeps me going … and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible."- Nicholas Sparks

And to me this is enough. I have decided to have a positive outlook on life. I decide to trust others, look for the good in them. Will I get hurt by this? Sure, I have in the past and I am sure I will again. The temporary pain and hurt is worth living a positive life and not a cynical one.

I do believe one must want to change for oneself. I don't think a person will change unless they truly have the want and need to in their hearts. I know this because this is where I am in my life right now. I want to be this great Christian, I long for it, I work so hard everyday to change into the person He would want me to be. Is it hard? It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Changing isn't meant to be easy. I know it is is possible though. I have faith in Him and the change He will make in my life.

Which brings me to who I believe is the one who can help a person change. Christ. It is all over the bible. Saul, later called Paul, was a persecutor of Christ followers and then he saw Christ. He was blinded by Christ, spent time with him and became the teacher of salvation to many Gentiles. How awesome is that?! I love how life-altering, loving and amazing God is. He took the one killing followers, and changed him into a man of God.

Now unfortunately, we don't live in biblical times. We live in a culture where sins are thrown in our face daily. I believe that it is hard for many people to understand that they are forgiven. Yes, you reading this. God loves you, you are his child, you are FORGIVEN!! Who you were in your past does not mean this is who you have to be in your future. You do not have to live the life that the culture says is "right". Live a life full of Christ and love!! :) My heart is so overwhelmed as I write these words!!

As I said, this is not going to be easy. It is a battle everyday for many Christians, but the battle is worth it. I still am prone to going back to the person I was before Him. I know others struggle with this as well because it is easier to give into temptation. Your so called "favorite sins" will be harder to quit than other. Please remember that with Him by your side, anything is possible. All past demons and sins can be overcome. "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us." Romans 8:31

I know in my heart people can and will change. Faith, hope and love will win. I am sticking to my guns on this one people.

I am going to make an announcement soon that I haven't told anyone about. I know what I am about to embark on is my calling. My heart is full of Him when I think about my future and what He has planned for me. :)

Have a great Thanksgiving, spend time with your loved ones.


Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He’s up to something
And the farther on
I go I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something
He is not finished with me yet....

Mawwage.

Well, I have caught the blogging bug once again. I guess I really started all of this to keep family and friends updated on my life while I was in college. Especially because I spent 50% in Huntsville, 25% in Belton and 25% in Houston. Now that all my time is spent in Houston, there is not much to exactly “update” on. I keep in contact with my friends whom I enjoy spending what little free time I do have, and that’s about it. Therefore, I guess this is now just something for me to vent with. I don’t care if anyone reads it. I just love writing and always have. With that being said, welcome to my newest post :)


“Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us together today. Wove, twue wove...So tweasure your woves forever”- Princess Bride

Marriage. The word that when I bring it up, (mainly from older generations) will almost always promise the response of “OMG, you are so young!”, “You have your whole life ahead of you, why do you feel so rushed?!”

The truth is people, I do not feel rushed into it. I mean I don’t even have a boyfriend, nor a potential suitor. So, before I continue I just wanted to throw that out there. It would be different if I had a boyfriend whom I am pushing the topic on, but I don’t nor would I do that.

What I do have an inner battle with is my personal accomplishment checklist. Now, I do not have this written down somewhere of a timeline of when I should succeed at things in life, but it is definitely in my head somewhere. Let me let you in on how I live my life and process things in this brain of mine:

Step 1: I see a goal in my mind.
Step 2: I make a plan to reach this goal.
Step 3: I successfully reach this goal.

There is A TON of mini steps in between these. Most of them consisting of hard work, little “play-time” and all that good stuff. This is how I graduated college in 3 years with an almost 4.0 GPA. I am driven.

Anywho, here I am… I have reached that goal, I have a career in front of me. The next obvious “step” in my mind is mawwage. This is just how I have grown up. I see my parents, grandparents, friend’s parents, co-workers and now even a few of my friends happily married. Naturally, I do not believe divorce is an option unless some sort of abuse is going on. I believe in love, romance, miracles and the magic of it all. I choose to look at the positive aspects. Believe me, I know marriage is not all daisies and roses, but I am willing to put up with the thorns.

In my little mind, I had it all planned out. I would graduate college with my high school or college sweetheart…we would both get jobs and he would propose to me in the most romantic way ever and we will live happily ever after and start our own little family with no white picket fence, because we would want lots of open land! Haha

Welcome to why I am frustrated now. I am used to “getting what I want”. Not because I have it handed to me, but because I work HARD for it. I put every ounce of me into my goals. This is why when I see people just kind of just “floating” through life, I want to encourage them with what I have done and to set goals. I don’t mean go to college. I just mean set a goal and accomplish it.

I digress, my previous goals dealt mainly with me pushing myself. It did not include someone else’s feelings and their life. I realize marriage is not exactly a goal. It has just always been the next step in my mind. Now that I am nowhere near taking that step, I am sort of wondering what’s next? What is my purpose now? What is my role on this Earth?? Haha

Then, I started going to this bible study every Tuesday evening. It really put “my life” in perspective for me. First of all, it is not MY life. My life belongs to Christ. I was put on this Earth to do his work, whatever that may be. I have to let go of MY plans for life. It is in His hands now and I am courageous and willing to be faithful to Him. This is going to be very difficult for me to stop planning because I am such a planner!! I must give everything up to Him. It won’t always be easy and I know I won’t always be happy. That is OK though because my kingdom is not here.

So God, here I am. Use me as you need. Whether it is getting married and having a family or dedicating my life to being a missionary. I was made by God and for God and until I understand that, life will never make sense…

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 :)