List

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her…

Growing up, all teenage girls have a sort of “check list” of traits their boyfriend MUST possess. Whether it is the typical blonde hair, blue eyes. Or the tall, dark and handsome. I can almost guarantee that every girl has some sort of dream guy in her mind. My guy went a little something like this:

16- Year-old Lauren Roehr’s Must-have in a Guy List

1.       Straight teeth…or at least a nice smile

2.       Rockin’ Bod…or at least care about your health

3.       Funny…on every girl's list

4.       Honest, trustworthy and all that junk

5.       Morals…because I always have stuck by mine

As you can tell, I was pretty shallow back in the day. If I wasn’t thinking with the mind of a 16 year old, I would have probably flipped that list around. Actually, that list kind of followed me through college too. By following this list I managed to date a hand full of guys who, might have been great to look at, but lacked on honesty and sometimes morals as well.

To be fair, I was 16. I was immature, everything was a big deal and what I wanted changed on a daily basis. I dated many different guys and was pretty much never single. I would go from hanging out with one guy, get tired of him and almost instantly find another. (None of these were serious relationships, where love was involved). Things were easy that way and I never got lonely.  I was never alone and therefore, never had to learn how to be by myself. Thankfully, I was smart enough to keep my morals throughout all of this. I am proud to say I never have been, and never will be a girl who sleeps around, or needs that type of love to feel comfort. I just really enjoyed always having someone around to have fun with and get those sweet, “Good Morning” texts from.

It wasn’t until the first semester of college that I had to learn how to be on my own. My boyfriend of almost 2 years and I had just broken up. We both went our separate ways to college. He was honest with me when we first started dating about how we would break up when college came. I just really thought I would change his mind. (Made note to self: A guy will only change his way and mind when he wants to for himself, not for anyone else). That first semester at college was to say the least, tough. I was thrown into a sea of people, where I only knew maybe 5. All I wanted was to be back with him. I had no clue how to be single. Actually, I am still terrible at being single. I don’t enjoy living the life many single people do. I am such a homebody, even more now than then. I went back home almost every weekend.  So, I didn’t lead the normal single college girls life. Most guys in college just want one thing…the one thing that they won’t get from me.

Knowing that, I stayed single that whole first year, and it got easier as time went on. I learned not to depend on anyone, except myself. There were a few guys who showed their interest here and there. Nothing that was ever made more than a few dates. Then, I fell in love again. Zip through 8 months of that, straight into another serious relationship of over a year, and I found myself back at square one of not know how to be alone.

This time it is different because I have Him. HE tells me that I am not alone, that I have never been alone and that I will never be alone. He tells me that in my darkest hour, when no one else is there to be found, He is there. He calms the storm inside of me, fills up the loneliness and lets me know that I am loved, because I am His!! He was there the whole time, I just needed to realize His presence.

Realizing all of this was been such a blessing on my life. Hard times don’t seem as hard and I can just see everything clearer now. All of this brings me to the point of this blog, my new list. My new list, isn’t even a list at all. This criteria centers around HIM! I know that what I was missing before in all of my relationships was, Him.  I know I want to marry a man who loves God more than he loves me. A man who isn’t afraid to give everything to God. A man I can pray, worship and rejoice in the Lord with. Someone who understands why I go to Bible study on Tuesday, help with youth on Wednesday, Sunday and  sometimes overnight trips. Who will encourage me and push me to be the best Christian I can be. I want my children to have two parents that follow Christ.  I want a marriage that when times get tough, we turn to Him for guidance instead of sin or worldly things. Thinking of these things is what makes my heart happy.


I pray that if it is in His plan for me to get married, that my husband will be all of this and more...


As for my life now, I plan to continue on my walk with Him. I am using this time as a single woman to let my relationship with Him grow. I know He will use me in ways that will benefit most from me being single. Ways that I would not being able to help with if I was still in college, or married with a family. I truly am giving it all up to Him and can't wait to see what blessings will unfold while doing His work here on this temporary home. 

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:25-33